This week we are learning about conflict management and resolution. While I am not directly experiencing conflict right now, the fact that I work with children and have two of my own means that I am constantly managing conflict. One of the things that I have learned about managing conflict with children (and adults) is that you need let the children know you hear what they are saying. More than anything, they want to tell their side of the story. But to speak, the other has to let them. So it is also important to make sure the other child gives that respect and is also able to respond. Modeling calmness and respect is very important in these moments. The other thing that I have found to be important is to let the children find a solution to the problem. Helping them to figure out a compromise or find an alternative works much better when they feel they have come up the ideas themselves.
I think the best thing to do is to teach children how to communicate without conflict when ever possible. Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of The Center for Nonviolent Communication has said: "When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving!" We should keep this in mind when teaching children positive communication skills.
A very simple form of conflict resolution for children
Look familiar?
How about this? Praising children for positive behaviors helps to teach and reinforce those behaviors.
Beth Ann, I would much rather manage conflict with children than adults. Most time child don't know any better and need positive reinforcements to help they understand how to handle and work out conflicts. But adults, it’s entirely different, I expect them to know better and it’s discouraging when they don't, when they can’t even begin to understand how to diffuse a difficult situation.
ReplyDeleteHi BethAnn,
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed reading your post. I agree with you that we have to model calmness and respect. One strategy of respecting a child that I have noticed having a positive result is being intentional in caring for a child. Talking to the child softly and explaining what you are doing while diaphering the child encourages the child to interact with and trust the teacher.
Charmie
Hi BethAnn,
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed reading your post. I agree with you that we have to model calmness and respect. One strategy of respecting a child that I have noticed having a positive result is being intentional in caring for a child. Talking to the child softly and explaining what you are doing while diaphering the child encourages the child to interact with and trust the teacher.
Charmie
BethAnn,
ReplyDeleteI agree that modeling a calm non-reactive approach is important. I love the pictures you posted. In my former job, we taught 1. Stop, 2. Get Space, 3. Calm down. I always thought these needed to be a fourth step though that focused on finding a solution for both parties. I am going to print that picture and post it in my new job. Thanks a ton!
Danielle
Beth Ann,
ReplyDeleteI can say working toward a common purpose is more important than any of the peripheral concerns; the trauma of confronting differences may damage fragile relationships. To teach the child when you realize you are wrong, when you are willing to let others learn by mistake, When you know you cannot win, and when it is not the right time.